I’ve had a rough week. That might even be an understatement. Which means it’s the perfect time for a post on appreciation and gratitude. I have so many remarkable and brave people in my life that it’s helpful for me to acknowledge how many of them there are. Because there are a lot.
Usually, I focus on the two people I’m closest to, the hubby and D. Though there is a delightful slut from afar that I’m still looking forward to getting to know better as well. But for this post, I am broadening my scope of appreciation. Because my partners aren’t the only people in my life that make my world a magnificent place to be. (queue emotional, sappy song)
I used to hate life. People too. I could visit the most beautiful places and all I’d see is another location to be hurt. Or let down. Betrayed… I never saw the beauty of the places I went.
Now, I even see beauty at 7-Eleven. That’s right, there’s something magical and beautiful about the young man holding the door open for me, the clerk at checkout giving us giant Slurpees for the same price as the small ones, even the woman bouncing in line because she’s anxious to get to her boyfriend’s house. I see them as beautiful because I see life as beautiful.
No matter where I go, I see beauty because I see love.
I have no doubt where this came from…
The people in my life make my life better. I watch my dear friends taking care of their little one that was born so, so early, and I’m so proud of them for being such wonderful parents. No matter what their current struggles are, they’ve always been there for me. And my friend that does the single mom bit like a rockstar… I’ve never seen such an awesome single parent, working so hard all the time to be a good person and the best mom and friend she can be. And my friends that aren’t afraid to live outside the box, who raise their little ones with freedom. And my friends that are living every day with love in their hearts, caring for others… And my friend that blogs about really difficult things like body image and the honesty of surgery. And one friend who has seen me go from complete denial of needing therapy and having trauma, to embracing every step of my healing, and he makes sure I know constantly how proud he is of me.
Of course, these aren’t the only wonderful people in my life. I have many industry friends too, that are inspiring all the time. They work so damn hard for themselves and others. They give of their time and live boldly. Especially many of my erotica writing peeps that refuse to live in darkness and shame, and use their voices to bring about sex-positive change.
Then there’s my metamour, who I love dearly. She always makes sure I get time with D and goes out of her way to see that my needs are met too (which is so hard to find in polyamory). She cares deeply for others and has an amazing heart. Her laughter can turn me from grumpy and sad to smiling and joyful.
And D, who is always honest, true, confident, kind, and compassionate. He’s witnessed so much of my pain and held space for me to feel what I need to feel, no matter what those feelings are. He’s never wavered, even when I’m full of rage or terrified to face a memory. He understands what it is to love and has been willing to witness my pain so those around me that struggle seeing it, don’t have to. Witnessing pain causes the person witnessing it a level of trauma too, but he does it anyway because that’s how much he cares.
And my husband, the man that was once so full of jealousy that he was convinced he couldn’t handle polyamory, melts my heart with his personal growth. I’m his biggest fan. I’m so proud of him every day for working so hard on the things that made him feel insecure and jealous so that he could learn to love in an epic way.
Each of you inspires me. You make my life better.
Thank you for being in my life and knowing how to love in the most selfless, compassionate, and encouraging ways. I appreciate you all and love you more than words can express.
*image by Kimberly Appelcline on freeimages.com*