Beautiful Healing


For the last few years, I’ve had a focus for myself. One year was more mental health, another working into a place of emotional health, and 2016 was about focusing on my body and physical health. I changed many things last year. I began working out more and removed most carbs from my daily diet, but I still hadn’t gotten to a place where I felt healthy. So by the end of the year, I didn’t feel I’d reached my goals when it came to my physical health.

Part of the issue was that I was mostly focused on what I was eating but neglected other parts of my physical health. I was over working out, or not working out enough. I was being hard on my body and not listening to it when my body screamed, “Slow down!” And this resulted in a lack of results.

Now, however, I understand what the problem was.

I wasn’t present in my body.

Now I am. For the first time today, I was present in my body throughout an hour-long yoga session. If felt phenomenal. I had no idea that my body could feel so amazing (aside from coming my brains out, of course)! By the time I was finished, I’d figured out I have issues in my right hip, my left knee, and way too much tension in my shoulders and neck. I also realized my hamstrings are tight and causing me pain elsewhere in my body.

Because I was present, I was able to work these parts of my body how they needed to be worked. And my body responded with this lovely tingle that soon turned to complete relaxation. Tension released. Pain went away.

I feel great.

Some of my issue last year was that I was still using my bad habits to punish myself. Maybe as a means of self-sabotage too. I knew cardio wasn’t the proper workout for me and yet I kept doing it. Hours of beating my body up… Then I’d get tired and super sore from the abuse and stop working out for a couple weeks. So. Not. Helpful.

I’m over that now. I don’t want to abuse my body anymore. I don’t want to feel the constant pain I felt. So I’m working on my physical health for real now. The right way.

Being present makes a huge difference. I’m not staying up so late. I’m waking early and feeling refreshed (and I’ve NEVER been a morning person). I’m more productive even, because when I’m paying attention and eating when I need to, resting when I need to… then I don’t wear myself down.

In three days I’ve gotten things off my to-do list that were there for months! All because I’m present. I’m in the moment and not worried or stressing about tomorrow. If there’s something that needs doing by a certain day, then I put it on my calendar and don’t think about it again until it’s time to complete that task. Therefore, I’m not wasting energy on stress or anxiety.

Being present and in my body has made a huge difference in the way I live.

This year will be different. I’m not going to abuse my body.

When I began healing a few years back, I didn’t think I’d ever get here. D said I would. He encouraged me. Had faith in me. Believed in me. But I couldn’t imagine a time when I was in my body and wanting to be in my body.

These last few years have served to show me that our mental health, emotional health, and physical health are tied. My mental and emotional state affected my physical state in a huge way.

Now I know it’s possible to really heal. To let go of trauma, work through our issues, and heal in the most beautiful way.

I’m so happy right now. This is an amazing feeling. I can’t imagine where I’d be if I’d stopped trying. If I’d gone back to old habits and focused on blame and victimhood rather than truly work on myself. I’m so thankful I didn’t give up or stop trying. No matter how hard it was facing some of the trauma I faced.

For anyone reading this and struggling, don’t give up. Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in trauma. Let go. Be real. Face the hard stuff. Admit your faults. Let go of pride. Then be present. Heal. Feel joy. Trust me, the end result is worth the work. ❤


About authorsienna

Author * Speaker * Blogger on sex, erotica, LGBTQ, BDSM, Dominance, submission, consent, and polyamory. Authors tales of dark desires and hidden fantasies.
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