I recently posted about having a problem attracting people with high anxiety. A good number of friends messaged me asking if they were one of the folks with high anxiety I’d blogged about. Funny enough, NONE of them were the kinds of people I’d talked about in therapy. Humans are prone to anxiety. This means we all feel it and at different levels depending on what’s going on in our lives. The moments when this level of anxiety becomes unhealthy is when we are unable to function in life.
In my opinion, if people can’t be present because they are constantly jumpy and distracted and looking over their shoulder for the next thing to come at them, they aren’t experiencing an average or healthy amount of anxiety. I think we’d all prefer NO anxiety. I don’t know anyone that enjoys feeling it. But all humans feel anxiety.
For those that felt my blog was some sort of judgment aimed at them, remember, like attracts like. So what that means is that when I was attracting all of these high-anxiety, non-functioning type folks, I too was high anxiety and hardly functioning.
My post wasn’t about judgment of others. It was about seeing my growth and the ‘why’ behind why I attracted those types.
It was about self-acceptance of where I was in contrast to where I am.
Now, I’m attracting different types. It’s been a slow transition, but it’s happening. I’m finding myself hanging with entrepreneurs, with go-getters that work their asses off to reach their goals, that shoot for the stars and land on target, and it’s because I’ve shifted myself. I’ve done the work I need to in order to maintain relationships with different types of folks.
I’ve surrounded myself with people that work days jobs, that volunteer for nonprofits and community events, that write, that teach, that lead, that run side companies on top of their day jobs, and so on. This is also who I am. And like attracts like.
I post the above video as a reminder that we can all meet our goals. Even if some of you reading this are at that the ‘non-functioning super high anxiety’ stage. The way to get around that is to have a good therapist, people around you that believe in you and see your capabilities and will help you grow, and by not being in denial about where you are. This really isn’t judgment. I was there.
Now I’m not.
I’m in a very different place because I pictured what I wanted, I accepted that I could achieve my goals, then I took the steps to get to where I wanted to be. I’m still on that path too. I’m not judging myself for being in a bad place in the past. I’m focusing on where I am now and where I’d like to be down the road.
I think it’s important to remember that if we want to change our lives, that change really does start with us. It’s begins with our focus. Are we focused on being a victim? A failure? An ignorant person that will never amount to anything? Or are we focused on our growth? On our successes? Our strengths? Our goals for the future?
Everything we do costs us energy. Everything.
If we are focused on all the wrong things, we will never move forward or achieve our goals. We will be far too exhausted from all the wasted energy. The point isn’t to look back, it’s to look up. It’s to see what’s right in front of us. To be present. To embrace what we want.
We can all reach our goals, but they have to be clear goals and a thing in which we actually focus on.
As Will Smith said, “Just DECIDE. At that point, the universe is going to get out of your way.”