This morning I woke to a nasty, harassing email by someone hiding behind a temporary address. They had selected one through Guerrilla Mail. As with most nonsense like this, I shoved it off. Why would I ever listen to or take someone hiding seriously? I don’t respect cowards and thus, won’t waste time on them. I reported the abuser to the site as I also won’t allow people to harass me, but then I forgot about it.
Then tonight, I read Beauty Beyond Bone’s post. She’s someone I follow because like me, she blogs about tough topics, healing, personal growth, and is vulnerable to her readers. (I suggest checking out her blog.)
Those that know me know I respect people like this. I’ve never read her blaming others for her struggles, or any posts where she’s being inappropriate, or mean, and yet as she states in her post, she too received a nasty, bullying email. While she wouldn’t normally address this sort of thing, she decided to this time.
I agree with her decision. Which got me thinking…
The thing about bullies in general is that they’re cowards. They’re too scared to be so vulnerable.
Life is tough enough. Why waste energy attacking people?
The saddest thing about bullies is that they’ll never find joy. They’re so focused on tearing others down to build themselves up that they miss the happiness boat. Rather than be vulnerable and look inward, they look outwardly for someone to blame.
In doing so, they traumatize and abuse innocent people.
I’m at this strange place with bullies. I don’t respect them because of their behavior, but I also feel for them. I wonder why they hate themselves so much?
I wish they could see their worth. I wish they’d look inward and stop vomiting their self-loathing onto others. We are all worthy of joy but we can’t find it if we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, then tearing them down to build ourselves up. That method doesn’t work. It only makes for more self-loathing.
Ignoring bullying doesn’t fix it. We need to talk about this behavior. Because the victims of bullying deserve to be heard. And the bullies themselves need those around them–that aren’t bullying–to help them see their worth and find confidence from within so they stop this toxic behavior.
I pose this challenge to anyone reading this that’s ever taken part in bullying…
Write a blog post about all your vulnerabilities. If you want to do it anonymously, fine. But be real. Be 100% honest. Not about others, but about yourself. This isn’t a gossip fest or opportunity to play the blame game. This is about an opportunity to see yourself clearer. Because I know what will happen…
The moment you put yourself out there completely, even if anonymously, you’re going to find a lot of people that will relate to you. You’ll find that you won’t need to tear others down to feel good because your vulnerability will shine a beauty in you that isn’t currently visible. You’ll find support in places you’d never expect.
Other bullies may attack you, it’s true. But I can honestly say that for every one message of attack, I get hundreds of supportive responses.
This is because humans, in my opinion, don’t really want to hate each other. I think we just get too caught up in judgment. So let’s go of that. Right here, right now.
Let’s be vulnerable. Let’s be brave. Let’s be real.