Life has been really great. There are so many things I’m doing and I wouldn’t be able to do them if I’d not been doing my internal work. Even a year ago, when I had to suddenly take a day job, I remember being terrified. My anxiety was sky high, and I really struggled. I didn’t think I could do it.
But I kept trying. I kept doing my internal work too. Because I didn’t stop or give up, I’m in a very different place now. One where I’m filled with excitement and anticipation when I go to work. Or when I take on a new project. Even when I realize there’s another trigger to face. All of it–all of life–is exciting.
I’ve got some great role models around me too. Some fantastic people that don’t just talk or make excuses, they desire to change and they implement that change. Just like that. No self-shaming, no self-loathing, just a, “I’d like to start doing x,” then they do it. I’m fortunate to have such good people around me.
So again, life has been great. Busy, yes, but so good.
I’m in another growth phase. I see my next set of goals and I’m moving toward them. I don’t understand how I got stuck for so long. So many years in the same spot, making excuses for why I couldn’t do something, or achieve something, why I wasn’t good enough, and so on.
I was certainly stuck. Unable to grow, move forward, or live the life I wanted to live. I couldn’t function in the world and all of that’s changed.
Some people like where they are. They don’t want to change things or grow. They are content with their life. Or at least comfortable enough that even if they wanted change, it isn’t worth the work they’d need to put in to change it. And that’s okay, for them.
Not for me.
I wanted more. I didn’t want to just function in the world, I wanted to flourish. So I keep trying, keep doing my work, keep pushing forward when life gets intense and I want to run away or hide. And the more I allow myself to grow, the more I nurture my needs and flourish.
Growth and personal accountability are hot. When we can look inward, admit we don’t like something about ourselves, then change, that’s pure beauty…
Now, when I wake up in the morning, I wake knowing that I’m living the life I want to live. That makes each day exciting and something to look forward to. It means each day is an opportunity to feel bliss and be grateful.
Life is good.